
Japanese wedding customs fall into two categories: traditional Shinto ceremonies, and modern Western-style ceremonies. In either case, the couple must first be legally married by filing for marriage at their local government office, and the official documentation must be produced in order for the ceremony to be held. Before ever getting married there are two types of mate selection that may occur with the couple: (1) miai, or an arranged marriage and (2) ren ai, or a love match. The Japanese bride-to-be may be painted pure white from head to toe, visibly declaring her maiden status to the gods. Two choices of headgear exist. One, the wataboshi, is a white hood; the other, called the tsunokakushi, serves to hide the bride's 'horns of jealousy.' It also symbolizes the bride's intention to become a gentle and obedient wife.
Traditional Japanese wedding customs (shinzen shiki) involve an elaborate ceremony held at a Shinto shrine. Japanese weddings are being increasingly extravagant with all the elaborate details placed into thought. However, in some cases, younger generations choose to abandon the formal ways by having a "no host party" for a wedding. In this situation, the guests include mainly of the couple's friends who pay an attendance fee.
Western-style Ceremonies
In recent years, the "Western Style Wedding" (influenced by Christian
weddings) has become the choice of most couples in Japan. An industry has
sprung up, dedicated to providing couples with a ceremony modeled after
church rituals. Japanese western style weddings are generally held in a
chapel, either in a simple or elaborate ceremony, often at a dedicated wedding
chapel within a hotel.
Before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. Often during this rehearsal,
the bride's mother lowers the veil for her daughter, signifying the last
act that a mother can do for her daughter, before "giving her away".
The father of the bride, much like in Western ceremonies, walks the bride
down the aisle to her awaiting groom.
After the rehearsal comes the procession. The wedding celebrant will often
wear a wedding cross, or cana, a cross with two interlocking wedding rings
attached, which symbolize a couple's commitment to sharing a life together
in the bonds of holy matrimony. The wedding celebrant gives a brief welcome
and an introductory speech before announcing the bride's entrance. The procession
ends with the groom bowing to the bride's father. The father bows in return.
The service then starts. The service is given either in Japanese, English
or quite often, a mix of both. It follows Protestant ceremony, relaxed and
not overtly religious. Typically part of 1 Corinthians 13 is read from the
Bible. After the reading, there is a prayer and a short message, explaining
the sanctity of the wedding vows (seiyaku). The bride and groom share their
vows and exchange rings. The chapel register is signed and the new couple
is announced. This is often followed by the traditional wedding kiss. The
service can conclude with another hymn and a benediction.
Contemporary-style Ceremonies
With the two types of ceremonies, Shinto and Western, available it was
bound for the two to be combined into what is called a contemporary Japanese
wedding. Contemporary Japanese weddings are celebrated in many ways. On
the beginning of the wedding day, the participants are to get ready at the
parlor's beauty shop. The responsibility of the beauty shop is to dress
the bride, the groom, and the other participants in the formal Japanese
attire. Dressing the bride is an important task because the bride is to
change into several outfits throughout her wedding day. Due to the complexity
of the design, dressing a bride can be difficult and time consuming and
for this reason the bride must be the first person to arrive two hours prior
to the wedding ceremony. The bride's attire consists of an extravagant kimono,
heavy make-up, a wig, and a head covering. An hour prior to the wedding
ceremony, the guests and the groom should start to arrive.
When everyone is dressed in their formal attire, the bride and the groom
are to separate from each other and meet their close relatives in a waiting
room. The relatives present will appear in the family photo and will also
attend the religious ceremony. During this gathering, the kaizoe (assistant)
will inform the participants of what will take place and what they should
do during the day since they are not familiar with the ceremony.
When all is understood, the relatives and participants are brought to the
photo studio where the professional photographs are to be taken. Taking
the photographs of the bride, the groom, and their relatives is considered
to be the central part of the wedding day. The photographs of the couple
and their family are designed to represent the couple's prospective future
together.[20]
After the lengthy photo session, the bride, the groom, and others are brought
to the Shinto shrine. Nowadays, the Shinto shrine may be conveniently located
inside a hotel where all the activities will take place. A Shinto priest
conducts the ceremony. In the ceremony, the bride and the groom are purified.
However, the ceremony's important event occurs when the bride and the groom
exchange nuptial cups of sake also known as san-san-ku-do. With the addition
of Western tradition, the exchange of rings and weddings vows also take
place. Those guests who did not attend the religious ceremony are able to
view the ceremony on video screens located in the lobby.
Like Western-style traditions, a reception takes place right after the wedding
ceremony. The guests of the reception include family members, friends, and
colleagues. Due to the wedding industry's attempt to maximize time and space,
the reception will last exactly two hours. The reception does not include
any random activities, but follows a strict order of events. The reception
includes dramatic entrances by the bride and the groom with special effects,
speeches, and other performances.
Throughout the reception, the bride shall receive the guests' utmost attention
because she changes two to three times for the dramatic entrances. With
all the dramatic entrances, the groom will join the bride. For example,
the first entrance includes the bride, the groom, and the nakodo couple.
Nakodo means a "matchmaker" or a "go-between", which
is usually referred to the husband. The nakodo couple plays such an important
role that their names appear on the announcement of the wedding. The purpose
of the nakodo is to symbolize a stable marriage. As the two couples appear
a special effect of a cloud of white smoke will appear to surround them.
Simultaneously, the hall lights are dimmed and the stage lighting will turn
to the color of rose-pink; this astonishes the guests. Pictures are to be
taken during the dramatic entrances of the bride and the groom. After the
photographs have been taken, they will be led back to their table.
At this point the Master of Ceremonies will congratulate the newlyweds and
their family. He/she will then introduce the nakodo, who will start the
opening speeches and more speeches will follow. Being that the reception
is highly structured the speakers will have the idea of being formal and
concise in mind. With all the speeches finished, the bride and the groom
will perform the Western-style traditions, which include the following:
(1) the cake cutting ceremony and (2) the newlyweds' first dance as husband
and wife.
The next part of the reception is the toast, or kanpai, which simplifies
the mood of the reception where the guests can start to relax, eat, and
drink. What follows the toast are the short congratulatory speeches made
by relatives, friends, and colleagues. During this time, the bride has gone
to change into her first costume and continues throughout the reception.
However, the groom will also have a chance to change into his costume, which
is the Western tuxedo. By the end of the night, both the bride and the groom
have changed from their traditional Japanese attire to their Western-style
attire.
After their last change of costumes, the newlyweds will perform the candle
service. Both will have a long, unlit candle, which will be lit from the
table where their parents are seated. Next, the couple will walk around
the room in a circle and light the candles placed on their guests' table.
Once all the candles are lit, the newlyweds will return to their table where
they will light what is called the Memorial Candle.
By the time the candle service is done the two hours restriction will soon
expire. The remaining few minutes includes short speeches, songs, dances,
etc. As the reception ends a flower presentation ceremony will take place,
which is where the newlyweds will present their parents with a gift of flowers
to display appreciation for their parents raising them to the people they
are today. At this point, the reception has ended with quick flashes and
farewells.